On my return from the recent trip to Bhutan and Nepal, I attended teachings with Tsoknyi Rinpoche. I’ve been reflecting on a powerful approach to work with personal transformation. The handshake practice, as Tsoknyi Rinpoche named it, is a subtle but profound way to work with emotional imprints—not by fixing or avoiding them, but by simply being with them.
So often in leadership and healing work, we rush to find solutions. But true transformation happens when we meet our inner resistance and pain without reaction. No suppression. No indulgence. No ignoring. No quick antidotes. Just awareness and presence.
This practice teaches us to trust even our most difficult emotions—the “beautiful monsters.” With awareness, these patterns begin to dissolve on their own. The key isn’t to think our way through healing, but to feel our way through it.
In leadership, this shift from doing to being can open space for deeper connection, clarity, and transformation.
#LeadershipDevelopment #EmotionalHealing #Mindfulness #SelfAwareness #TsoknyiRinpoche #SubtleBody #Transformation
Subtle Body, Leadership, and Healing – A Personal Reflection
Having met some wonderful teachers during my trip to Bhutan and Nepal, I’ve been reflecting on what I learnt about the subtle body and the deeper layers of leadership—beyond skills, strategies, and cognitive understanding. The real transformation I’ve witnessed, both in myself and in others, happens not when we understand something but when we truly feel it. The subtle body—a dimension of experience that sits between the physical and cognitive realms but is often overlooked in leadership development.
The Subtle Body – Why It Matters for Leadership
The subtle body is not just an abstract concept—it directly impacts how we lead, relate, and make decisions. It consists of three key elements:
- Nadi (脉): The energetic channels that shape our feelings.
- Prana (气): The life force that influences movement, energy levels, and behavior. If prana is out of balance (too slow or too fast), it affects how we show up as leaders.
- Bindu (明点): The essence of clarity, love, courage, and joy. When we tap into bindu, we access essence love—our innate warmth and presence, something that many leaders unknowingly disconnect from.
In high-pressure leadership environments, I see many operating with an overactive mind and a restless prana. The drive to perform, respond quickly, and problem-solve leaves little space for feeling and deep presence. But when leaders learn to regulate their subtle body—finding balance in their energy, reconnecting with clarity, and accessing essence love—they lead with a different quality: one that inspires trust, resilience, and authentic connection.
Four Aspects of the Mind – Leading with Clarity
Another key learning from this work is understanding the four aspects of the mind:
- Knowing Mind – The ability to perceive things directly, without overthinking.
- Thinking Mind – The automatic stream of thoughts we all have.
- Awareness (觉知) – The ability to observe our thoughts and experiences.
- Clarity (明) – The mind’s natural state of luminosity and insight.
Many leaders over-rely on the thinking mind—constantly analyzing, strategizing, and solving problems. But truly impactful leadership requires developing awareness and clarity—the ability to step back, see the bigger picture, and respond from presence rather than reactivity.
How Imprints Shape Our Leadership
One of the most profound insights for me has been the realization that much of what holds leaders back—fear of failure, imposter syndrome, defensiveness, or perfectionism—comes from deep-seated imprints formed over time. These imprints follow a pattern:
- Impression: An experience leaves an imprint (e.g., early criticism or failure).
- Understanding: The mind makes meaning out of it (e.g., “I’m not good enough”).
- Identification: Over time, we start believing this story as truth.
These imprints become internalized patterns that unconsciously shape how we lead. An untrained mind treats these imprints as solid and unchangeable. But the truth is, they are not. They can be worked with.
Shifting Imprints – The “Handshake” Approach
Transformation doesn’t happen by suppressing or ignoring these imprints. It happens when we turn towards them—acknowledging them without getting lost in them. Tsoknyi Rinpoche calls this the “handshake” method:
- Desolidify the imprint – Create space around it, loosen its grip.
- Relax into it – Feel it fully without judgment or resistance.
Two simple mantras help with this process:
- “It is real, but not true.” The feeling is real, but the message it carries might not be. Instead of reacting, we sit with it, allowing the imprint to open up rather than define us.
- “It’s not me.” We are not our imprints. They are just residues of past experiences, not our true identity.
I find this incredibly relevant in leadership work. So often, leaders operate from old conditioning without realizing it. By bringing awareness and space to these imprints, they can shift how they lead—not from old patterns of fear or self-protection but from a place of clarity and presence.
Navigating Our Inner Reactions
The handshake practice invites us to engage with our internal “monsters”—the distorted imprints and emotional patterns that shape our behaviors and perceptions. To effectively work with these inner aspects, it’s crucial to understand and navigate the following limitations:
- Not Suppressing: Avoid pushing away or denying the presence of these inner patterns. Suppression can lead to their reinforcement and manifestation in unhealthy ways.
- Not Indulging: Refrain from feeding or amplifying these patterns by giving them undue attention or importance. Indulgence can strengthen their hold over us.
- Not Ignoring: Don’t overlook or dismiss these patterns as unimportant. Ignoring them allows them to operate unconsciously, influencing our actions without our awareness.
- Not Applying Antidotes Prematurely: Resist the urge to immediately counteract these patterns with positive affirmations or solutions. Prematurely applying antidotes can invalidate our genuine feelings and delay healing.
The Power of Awareness: Recognizing and Transforming Reactions
Central to this practice is the cultivation of awareness. Only through mindful recognition can we observe our reactions to these imprints without being controlled by them. This involves:
- Meeting and Being with the Emotion: Approach the emotion without judgment, allowing it to exist without interference.
- Waiting: Sit with the emotion patiently, observing its nuances and shifts without rushing to change it.
- Communicating: Engage with the emotion, acknowledging its presence and understanding its message.
By embracing this process, we create a compassionate space for transformation, allowing our inner “monsters” to reveal their wisdom and liberate us from their grip.
Healing Through Feeling: The Essence of Transformation
True healing arises from feeling our feelings, not merely understanding them intellectually. This approach aligns with the Buddhist psychology perspective that emotions are not to be suppressed or ignored but experienced fully to transcend their limitations. As we connect with our feelings authentically, we open the door to profound transformation and healing.
Essence Love – The Leadership We Need
At the heart of all of this is something deeply personal to me—what Tsoknyi Rinpoche calls essence love. This is the warmth, clarity, and innate presence that we all have, but often move away from due to life’s conditioning. Many leaders I’ve worked with are high achievers, brilliant thinkers, but often disconnected from this deeper dimension of themselves. When we operate from essence love, leadership is no longer just about execution and results—it becomes about human connection, trust, and real transformation, which in turn shows up in impact and results inevitably.
For me, this exploration of the subtle body has reinforced what I’ve always sensed in leadership development—real change happens when we feel, not just when we understand. Leaders who can connect with themselves on this deeper level bring a different energy to their teams. They create psychological safety, inspire trust, and navigate uncertainty with resilience. This, to me, is the leadership we need more of in the world.
#Mindfulness #EmotionalHealing #LeadershipDevelopment #BuddhistPractice #SelfAwareness
